first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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