he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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