Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
