this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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