So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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