I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
