Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
