Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
