I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
