Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
