Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
