Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
