i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Redeem this text for a blowjob
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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