I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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