I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
