My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
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