Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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