Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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