Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
