I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
