The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
