it wasn't lemon gatorade
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
