dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
