This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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