You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
