I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
