that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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