After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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