Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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