your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i came on her dog
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Randomize
