i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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