Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
