he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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