Me too!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
