if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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