So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
