Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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