Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
