I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
