I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
