Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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