Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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