You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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