i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
