I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think people are normalizing furries
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
