i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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