You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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