Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize