Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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