he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
