Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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