well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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