Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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