spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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