can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
