Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
