I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
