we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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