she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
